More jokes

[Ovenpaa]

Edited from Chucks post

Irish Jokes

Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, “do you want the
winner of the next race?”
Paddy replies “no tanks, I’ve only got a small garden.”

Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the
police station.
Mick “What if one explodes before we get there?”
Paddy: “We’ll lie and say we only found two!”

A coach load of paddys on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake
to guess where they were going….. the driver won £52!

Paddy’s racing snail is not winning races anymore. So he decided to
take it’s shell off to reduce it’s weight and make him more
aerodynamic. It didn’t work, if anything it made him more sluggish.

Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires stickin out of it. He phones the
police and says "Bejesas I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a
bomb.
The operator asks, "is it tickin?, Paddy says "No I tink it's beef"