if you were serious then your first enquiry would be a FOIR
along the lines of...
Dear Chief Constable of ** Insert force here**
I wish to request under Freedom of Information Act 2000 the following information.
1. Is your force one of the sixty forces that have issued firearms certificates to British transport police officers?
2. Is your force one of forces that have issued Registered Firearms Dealer certificates to the British transport police or their officers?
3. Could you provide me with the Calibre, Type, Reason and intended use areas for any Firearms wished to be purchased by the British Transport Police officers (section 19 Firearms form 101)
3. Could you provide me with the Calibres and maximum amount of ammunition wished to have in the applicants possession at any one time (section 20 Firearms form 101)
4. Could you provide me with the Calibres and maximum amount of ammunition wished to be purchased or acquired by the applicants possession at any one time (section 21 Firearms form 101)
5. Could you provide me with the Nature of business for RFD certification by the British Transport Police or its officers (Part D Firearms form 116)
You have in the past been kind enough to allow me to collect a few bolt action battle rifles and a quantity of ammunition appropriate to test firing them. I also have a slightly more modern target rifle and some ammunition for regular practice with it. This, it seems, is not not enough. Our beloved leader, Mr Cameron, informs us that we are now subject to a clear, present and growing threat from numerous terrorist organisations sworn to overthrow our way of life. We are well aware that due to budgetary cuts, allied to a combination of incompetent and incoherent foreign policy and military over-stretch it is no longer the case that we can rely on the police or military to defend us and our families. We therefore feel we should play our part in the Big Society and thus are willing to play our part in the defence of self, family, neighbours and realm. In order to do this effectively, we respectfully request that we be granted the following variations:
1. One (1) HK468 or similar high-budget AR15 such as a Mk12Mod0 clone in 6.8SPCII
2. One (1) FN Police Auto5
3. One(1) M1911A1 .45 ACP pistols
4. One (1) .455 Colt New Service revolver
5. One (1) 7.62 mm LMG
5. One (1) 0.50 M2 Browning HMG
We wish also to increase our ammunition holding to:
6. 50,000 rounds of 6.8x43
7. 20,000 rounds of 12 bore slug
8. 50,000 rounds of 7.62NATO
9. 50,000 rounds of .50-BMG
10. 10,000 rounds of .45 ACP
11. 10,000 rounds of .455
Yours in respectful anticipation.
Badger
Thats more like it, just substitute the 1911 and.455 revolver with an H&K USP or Glock and you can double that order Oh and i'll have an AS-50 while we're on too